Merlin knew that it was about here that he should open up a little about why he was so closed off and wary about letting people in to know him, but he couldn't. It was still too early.
He shrugged and gave the superficial reason, just as valid but not as strong. "You seemed pretty insitent that you wouldn't... do that to me, which only meant that I'd do it to the both of us... I didn't think getting close would be a good idea. It would only hurt more in the long run."
And Zach had stolen that kiss from him too... it wasn't in the realm of impossibility that something would happen to make Zach take more from him too. His hand remained where it was under Zach's; he wasn't really sure that he wanted to move it and he didn't know what that could mean.