| Quibbler: November 7, 1997
||[Nov. 7th, 2009|03:03 pm]
A Tribute to Albus Dumbledore
I met Albus Dumbledore at the age of eleven, on our first day at Hogwarts. Our mutual attraction was undoubtedly due to the fact that we both felt ourselves to be outsiders. I had contracted dragon pox shortly before arriving at school, and while I was no longer contagious, my pockmarked visage and greenish hue did not encourage many to approach me.
For his part, Albus had arrived at Hogwarts under the burden of unwanted notoriety. Scarcely a year previously, his father, Percival, had been convicted of a savage and well-publicised attack upon three young Muggles. Albus never attempted to deny that his father (who was to die in Azkaban) had committed this crime; on the contrary, when I plucked up enough courage to ask him, he assured me that he knew his father to be guilty. Beyond that, Dumbledore refused to speak of the sad business,though many attempted to make him do so. Some, indeed, were disposed to praise his father's action and assumed that Albus, too, was a Muggle-hater. They could not have been more mistaken: as anybody who knew Albus would attest, he never revealed the remotest anti-Muggle tendency. Indeed, his determined support for Muggle rights gained him many enemies in subsequent years. In a matter of months, however, Albus's own fame had begun to eclipse that of his father.By the end of his First year, he would never again be known as the son of a Muggle-hater, but as nothing more or less than the most brilliant student ever seen at the school.
( Read more... )
Aliens Attack Cirencester
Shocking photographs from Cirencester prove that we are not alone in the universe. Submitted by an anonymous citizen, the following photograph clearly documents spaceships full of extra terrestrials flying near the town centre.
"So I looked up and saw this bright bloody light, blinking. Like it was waving hullo! Really!" Our source continues, "So I get out my omioculars and take a look and there's this big silver flying thing. No windows. I think it had a nice flame decal on the side though. I've seen muggle planes before, so it wasn't them. It didn't have proper wings! Must have been something else!"
( Read more... )