The thing about loving a person, Jess realized as she listened, was that their pain hurt you as much as your own did. And watching Sam cry, watching him struggle so with what he had to tell her...it was agony. Complete and utter agony. Tears came to her eyes as he spoke, and she closed the distance between them, leaning her head against his chest, as she once had.
Her heart was eased somewhat by his admission that he wasn't just keeping it from her - that he was trying to hide it from himself. That he was trying to bury the past, to ignore the darkness, and to have a normal life. It still burned that he hadn't shared that with her - couldn't she have helped him? But it was at least...understandable, the way he spoke it.
Then, he told her she was dead. Or, that's how it sounded to her, and she stepped back just enough that she could look up at him, the color draining from her face. So it was as she'd thought. God.
She shivered, needing a moment to process that. She'd had dreams. Hopes. A future. And if what he was saying was correct, she'd be dead in a day or two. Before Sam and Dean came back. She didn't want to die. She wasn't ready. There was too much she wanted to do yet, too much she wanted to learn, to see, to feel. She wanted to get married! Have children! Have a life! And she would't. Her life was over. Her legacy was as it was. Good god, she was going to be sick.
She pulled away, a hand on her stomach, and for a long moment she thought he was going to throw up. But her stomach settled, even if her emotions didn't, and she turned back to Sam.
"It isn't your fault," she said adamantly. "You didn't...you didn't do it. If I'm gone, Sam, it isn't because of something you did. You're not a demon. You'd never hurt me. The only thing you're guilty of is some chivalrous nonsense about wanting to protect me by keeping me in ignorance. So don't, okay? Don't. If I'm - if I'm gone, you have to go on with your life. You can't forever regret a mistake you made, and that's all it was. A mistake. I love you, Sam. I don't want you living your life like that."