sam winchester (thesamsquatch) wrote in welcomethreads, @ 2013-08-15 00:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | jessica moore, sam winchester |
Who: Sam & Jess
What: Sam's dead girlfriend arrives and there is a LOT to talk about.
When: Thursday
Where: Granny's --> elsewhere
Warnings: KSASLHSJFLLK;AHLKJSGHAHKDLHSGJHSG.
Are you okay? You're worrying me, Sam.
No. No, he was not even a little bit okay. Sam felt farther from okay than he ever had in his life, and that was in a long and intense career of not being okay. He felt like he was going to be violently ill, because his stomach was just as knotted up as the rest of his insides.
Of all the people to come back to life, certainly Jess was one of those who deserved it the most. She was completely innocent, smart and ambitious and normal, and the only reason she'd died was because Sam had loved her. Still loved her, still dreamed of her, but all of those dreams were nightmares. Worse dreams even than the nightmares he'd had at first, right after she'd died; most of the time, it wasn't really Jess, but Lucifer wearing her face.
But this was the real Jess. At least, it seemed to be. The first thing Sam had to decide was whether he was going to accept that on faith. None of the shapeshifting beings in his world had ever bothered to impersonate her, except for Lucifer, but if it was Lucifer, he would find that out soon enough. And none of his tests would work in that case, anyway.
It wasn't Lucifer, and he knew it. Because the only thing worse than something impersonating Jess was the actual Jess showing up. Truthfully, Sam might have preferred to deal with Lucifer's wrath than deal with the guilt and face the horror and disgust and anger that would be waiting for him when she found out the truth. About him, and about her fate. Jumping into the pit had been terrifying, but it had nothing on his terror right now. So yeah, he supposed he could take it on faith, because the alternative in which he got violently murdered actually seemed like the better case scenario.
He forced himself to get up, to put Bolt in his room so that he wouldn't follow Sam, because he was far too distracted to pay attention to the dog's safety just now, and it would be just his luck if the dog ran out in front of another car. Then he made himself walk down the stairs to leave the tower, and head towards Granny's. Each step was harder than the last, and the step inside the diner was the hardest of all, but his step didn't falter until he caught sight of her.
And then he found himself unable to move, even to breathe. He was suddenly aware of how very much older he must look, how changed. Some of the changes were obvious, like the length of his hair and the extra muscle. Others were subtle, like the look in his eyes or the callouses on his hands from using them to punch and stab and kill. And internally, emotionally, he had changed even more. He barely even remembered what the Sam she'd known had been like, but she would remember. He wasn't sure she would even recognize him.
It was only a few seconds, but felt like much longer, before the ability to breathe returned to him. He inhaled a ragged breath before forcing himself to move again, to walk over to her table and sit down across from her. He couldn't take his eyes off of her face; he might have changed, but she was just as beautiful as she'd always been. He clasped his hands in his lap under the table, thumb unconsciously pressing against the scar in his palm, as if to reassure himself that she was real. That she wasn't going to flicker and disappear before his eyes.
Clearing his throat, he tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. His voice, when he spoke, came out rough but warm. "Hi, Jess."