Isaac Lahey (getlaheyed) wrote in welcomenetwork, @ 2014-03-18 04:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | cora hale, isaac lahey, parker |
When I was a kid, I used to imagine living somewhere with superheroes or magic or basically anywhere but where I actually was. In old comics, they always had kid sidekicks. But they were kind of over that by the time I started reading, so I didn't see until later. Except for Wolverine and his weird thing for teen girl sidekicks. Which sounds pretty creepy when you say it, but that's not actually how I meant it.
But anyway, they didn't have little kid sidekicks anymore, or not that I read. So mostly I didn't actually think I could be part of them, I just wanted to live in a world where there were people who could do important things and save people, because that didn't actually happen much in the real world. Or my real world. I'm pretty fuzzy on what the actual real world is, since we're a TV show.
And then I got bitten by a werewolf, and found out that there were actually people who could get superhuman shit done, but that they didn't. I didn't. I was just kind of an asshole. And people still died. People who WERE werewolves, and people who were good people. And my dad, who wasn't good and locked me in a freezer, but still. Dead. And I didn't stop it. You can have the tools and still not know how to use them. Which makes me as useless as he actually said I was, probably.
It makes me think you can't actually be better than you start out. You can just be a different version of the same kind of weak. You get more powerful, but you've still got all the same baggage. So if you have claws or fangs or can lift a truck, it doesn't matter, because then you just start to see all the other people you didn't notice before who can do the same things, and they see through to the holes where you can't get any stronger than you started out as.
So then I think there's not much point in trying to be good unless you start out that way, and I didn't. Asshole comes a lot easier. Good people usually get screwed over. Even when they've had really crap luck, they still worry about everyone else more than themselves. I don't know if I ever do that.
I hate all this honesty because then I say what I think, which means I think about it more. Which sucks.
I still have holes in my memory and I can't tell which is just me not wanting to remember, and which are the ones the Alpha dicks took away from me. And I think I'm kind of in love with my best friend's ex-girlfriend, who has actually stabbed me, and who I drowned once. And my best friend, too. Who is my best friend, but I'm not his, which also sucks, but I can't actually be mad about that since the actual best friend is dying and going nuts.
Sorry.
Actually saying all of that makes me wonder how we didn't actually know we were on a TV show.