InsaneJournal

Tweak says, ""You found me beautiful once.""

Gabe Wilder (afterwedie) wrote in we_float,
@ 2010-05-16 20:09:00

Current music:	"There's no fun in fundamentalism" : NOFX
Entry tags:	gabriel wilder, zadkiel thrush

"There's no fun being covered in black clothes in the desert..."
Who: Zadkiel Thrush and Gabriel Wilder
What: Zadkiel runs into Gabe again... and again... and again.
When: Monday, May 17, 6 pm
Where: Seattle Public Library (Yes, it really looks like that.)
Status: Closed, complete.

"Fuuuuuuck," Gabe said as he stared at the pile of books teetering in front of him. Each one was the story of a different labor struggle. The Centralia Massacre. The Joker Expulsions. The Everett Massacre. "Fuck."

He stared down at his hands. What was he going to do about the senator's offer? The back of his arms were sweating and as the skin began to prickle, he felt the familiar sickness in the pit of his stomach that told him someone was coming.

"Gabe," the man said as he walked in the door. His hair was the same blue as Gabe's own, all of their features identical. His voice was hushed. "Dude, I just called me five minutes ago. Fail." Then the Avinoam paused. "Um, maybe you should try again." He sat down next to Gabe and picked up a book. The Everett Massacre, a History of the Class Struggle in the Lumber Industry. "Sometimes, I really depress myself." He looked over at the twin of himself.

"I'll call someone else," Gabe said with a sigh. "But you're never much help."

Avinoam looked at the figure approaching, blinking. "I'm gonna hope that's not one of us, man."

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	afterwedie 2010-05-21 11:18 pm UTC (link)
	"I dunno. I mean, I can't, like, move Julie in." Gabe glanced at Zadkiel. "So..." He shook his head, unable to voice what he was thinking. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-05-21 11:24 pm UTC (link)
	"Who's Julie?" Zadkiel asked. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-05-21 11:26 pm UTC (link)
	"Uhhh... my girlfriend. I mean, fiancee." Gabe scratched the back of his neck. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-05-21 11:30 pm UTC (link)
	"Is she... like us?" It had to be difficult if she wasn't, especially now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-05-21 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	"No." He shook his head, pausing. "She... knows about my ace." And there had been discussions about that too. Julie wanted it gone and was always pointing out that prayer healed- showing him ads in the phone book. Phony distractions, all of it. But... Gabe had to remind himself. She cared. And that was what mattered. What had to matter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-05-21 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	"So she's all right with it?" It was good, if she was. He couldn't imagined being with someone who couldn't accept something that you couldn't help. He'd never tried telling anyone at home but Mother and Eva. He was afraid to tell people here, even. Although now there was a reason. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-05-21 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	"Uh, dude, I didn't say that." Gabe shrugged. "But it's okay. Fuck, I mean, um, she didn't get a choice, you know?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifeibreathe
2010-05-21 11:52 pm UTC (link)

He flinched again. He couldn't help it, even though he heard it all the time, and was often the target of profanity at work when patients got tired of waiting.

He didn't know what to say to that. He knew all about not having a choice. He'd been quietly in the background while his sisters and their friends talked about girls they'd known whose marriages were anything but happy. But he didn't think things like that happened out here. He thought that here in the so-called real world, people always had a choice.

"Do you love her?" he blurted out, instantly wishing he could take it back.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-05-21 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	"I... uh..." Gabe's eyes went completely round, the green bright and startled. He stumbled back a little, catching himself against a lightpost before blurting out, "Dude... you... you just don't ask that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-05-21 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	No, then. "I'm sorry." He shoved his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slumped. "Are you feeling any better?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-05-21 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	"Dude. You just asked me if I love my fucking fiancee," Gabe spat out. "Yeah. I'm awesome. What planet are you from, anyhow?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-05-22 12:01 am UTC (link)
	"One where love has nothing to do with marriage." He nudged a rock with his toe. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-05-22 12:03 am UTC (link)
	"I..." He looked almost as if he was going to answer the question, then crossed his arms. "No, dude. That was definitely not cool." But he'd never said it, not to Julie. The last person he'd said it to had been Naomi at the end of a bad connection from a place he didn't know. And like him, when his mother heard "I love you," she never said it back. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-05-22 12:08 am UTC (link)
	Zadkiel seemed to shrink into himself further. "Perhaps I should go." Before he said anything else that alienated himself from normal people. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-05-22 12:09 am UTC (link)
	"Um," was all Gabe managed, digging in his pocket and lighting a cigarette. The tobacco fog cut between them, creating a dim, yellow shield. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-05-22 12:21 am UTC (link)
	"Will you be all right to get home?" he asked, voice low and quiet. He didn't want to just leave him when he was so badly shaken up before, but he was pretty sure that his company was no longer wanted. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-05-22 12:23 am UTC (link)
	He nodded, not sure of what else there was to say, and took another drag on his cigarette. Gabe didn't look Zadkiel in the eyes, not trusting himself to speak. The truth was... Zadkiel had asked him the one question he didn't actually want to know the answer to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-05-22 12:28 am UTC (link)
	"I'm sorry," Zadkiel said again. "I... I'll see you?" He didn't wait for an answer, just turned and walked away. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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