InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Sorry’s bullshit."

Gabe Wilder (afterwedie) wrote in we_float,
@ 2010-07-02 20:36:00

Entry tags:

character: gabriel wilder, character: zadkiel thrush

Who: Zadkiel Thrush and Gabriel Wilder
What: Zadkiel wants to meet and discuss a number of things.
When: Friday, July 2
Where: The clinic, then who knows?
Status: Open; in progress

He wondered why Zadkiel wanted to talk.

It wasn't a question that Gabe would ask but it weighed on his mind as he lit his cigarette and inhaled the smoke, feeling the warmth against his lips and simply holding it there for that reason alone. He leaned against the wall, feeling cool red brick press against his cheek as he took another drag. Six o'clock and he wondered if Zadkiel would come outside or if he'd need to go in.

There were a lot of things that Gabe was wondering- it was easiest to stick with the same things than to look back on the others. Particularly after his conversation with Maxxie. Everything repeats, he told himself. Especially other people's advice.

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	afterwedie 2010-07-03 06:10 pm UTC (link)
	He understood that but he didn't like it. Gabe stared down at his toes for a moment, thinking. "Sean's like that. Circle around the family, all that shit, but... you can't do it forever." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-07-03 06:16 pm UTC (link)
	"But how do you know when it's okay to stop?" He looked directly at Gabe then, like he honestly hoped he had the answer. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-07-03 06:25 pm UTC (link)
	"I dunno. Maybe... you don't have to stop." He curled up against his knees for a moment. Gabe didn't do what he was preaching- not unless it was to one of his other selves. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 06:31 pm UTC (link)

"It would be easier if I could just forget them, or hate them, or something. I don't. I can't. I miss them so much it hurts." He'd lost count of the number of times he'd seen something and turned to look and see where Eva or his brothers were to show them, only to be reminded like a slap to the face that they weren't there and never would be again. His throat constricted and he stared up at the sky, blinking rapidly.

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	afterwedie 2010-07-03 06:39 pm UTC (link)
	"And it feels like if you say the right thing or become the right person, they'll come back." His stomach tensed as his hand reached out, then fell back down in the grass. It wasn't Zadkiel he intended to comfort and that felt like a lie somehow. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 06:50 pm UTC (link)

"I can't ever be the right person," Zadkiel said, his eyes on Gabe's hand now. His jaw tightened. "I can't see my wild card as a curse. I can do so much good with it. But they do. They see all manifestations of the virus as a curse. Divine retribution. So I can never go back and..." He shook his head, closed his eyes tight. "I wish He would tell me why. But it's not for me to ask God for His reasons. So it's half blessing, half curse and..." The lump in his throat grew so large he couldn't force any more words out around it.

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	afterwedie 2010-07-03 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	"People do the best they can with what they have." Gabe could feel his stomach lurching, the familiar nausea flooding. "Uhh... fuck." He clenched his hands at his sides, willing his other selves back. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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