InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Jimmy.Manny for life!"

Gabe Wilder (afterwedie) wrote in we_float,
@ 2010-07-02 20:36:00

Entry tags:

character: gabriel wilder, character: zadkiel thrush

Who: Zadkiel Thrush and Gabriel Wilder
What: Zadkiel wants to meet and discuss a number of things.
When: Friday, July 2
Where: The clinic, then who knows?
Status: Open; in progress

He wondered why Zadkiel wanted to talk.

It wasn't a question that Gabe would ask but it weighed on his mind as he lit his cigarette and inhaled the smoke, feeling the warmth against his lips and simply holding it there for that reason alone. He leaned against the wall, feeling cool red brick press against his cheek as he took another drag. Six o'clock and he wondered if Zadkiel would come outside or if he'd need to go in.

There were a lot of things that Gabe was wondering- it was easiest to stick with the same things than to look back on the others. Particularly after his conversation with Maxxie. Everything repeats, he told himself. Especially other people's advice.

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lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 04:36 am UTC (link)

Zadkiel followed him, his hands shoved into his pockets. He wanted to ask what had happened, but he wasn't sure he should bring anything up while they were walking down the street. For all he knew, it was something that Gabe wouldn't want overheard.

Then again, for all he knew, Gabe wouldn't answer if he asked. So he didn't.

"There's a park," he said. "A few blocks from here. If you want."

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afterwedie
2010-07-03 04:38 am UTC (link)

"Yeah." He said, then more enthusiastically. "Yeah. I fucking miss trees." Not that Seattle parks were full of them--they tended to be more like postage stamps, squat squares of green parked in the middle of all the grey.

His hands shoved into his pockets as he unconsciously mirrored Zadkiel's movements, walking quietly alongside him. "So... um. Dude. What's wrong?"

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lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 04:43 am UTC (link)

"Maybe sometime we can go somewhere where there's real green," Zadkiel said wistfully. He was silent for most of a block, his eyes mostly on the ground, noting how Gabe was careful not to step on the cracks in the sidewalk. He wondered why, but suspected it was something that everyone knew and he just too out of the loop to be clued in.

"I don't know if I made the right decision," he said finally.

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	afterwedie 2010-07-03 04:46 am UTC (link)
	I don't know either, Gabe thought but he didn't say it, neatly falling into step next to Zadkiel without saying much. It was something that his father did when he needed help- simply gave him space, and time, to think. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 04:51 am UTC (link)

"It's my own fault for not trying," Zadkiel said as they waited to cross the street. The park was visible now, at the end of the next block. "I should make myself talk to them. But I can't think of anything to say."

His stride lengthened as they got closer to the patch of green, and something in him seemed to ease, just a little, when he set foot on the grass. "My bag is packed with the things I care about taking, and most of my clothes. I could just pick up and go. Except there's nowhere else, unless there's still a space back where I used to live. But it wouldn't be any different."

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	afterwedie 2010-07-03 04:55 am UTC (link)
	Gabe found a grassy spot and settled himself down on it, still quiet, his fingers threading through the weeds as he listened. They... it had to mean the people back at the Anhalt. Or so he thought. "Why don't you talk to them?" He asked. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-07-03 05:05 am UTC (link)
	"I can't think of anything to say," Zadkiel repeated. "And anything I do say, they don't understand. Or, the ones that I've talked to. I don't ask them to explain themselves. I'm tired of defending my beliefs, my choices because they think they know better." He frowned. "She, I should say. To be fair." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-07-03 05:06 am UTC (link)
	"Maxxie?" Gabe asked, barely hiding a grin. "Or, uh, do you mean the senator?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-07-03 05:08 am UTC (link)
	Zadkiel's eyebrows shot up. "You know her?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-07-03 05:08 am UTC (link)
	"Uhhh. We met." Then he paused. "Which one?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-07-03 05:09 am UTC (link)
	"Maxxie. Sorry." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-07-03 05:11 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah. I met her." A long sigh followed that sentence. "She, um, kind of thinks I'm a fucking stalker. Oh, and um, that I shouldn't marry Julie but that's none of her fucking business." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 05:16 am UTC (link)

Zadkiel's breath caught. How had that come up?, he wondered. It didn't seem like anything Gabe was likely to bring up in everyday conversation. But then, what did he know about the other man, really?

"She thinks that I should learn how to defend myself against the apparently inevitable physical attacks. She tried to tell me what God wanted me to do." His face twisted into a mix of scorn and frustration. "I think when I emailed you asking you to meet me, it was so I could say goodbye."

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	afterwedie 2010-07-03 05:19 am UTC (link)
	Gabe just stared at Zadkiel, his mouth slightly open. He forced it closed, visibly shrinking into himself. "Uh. Okay." It was all he could manage. He pushed up into a stand, not meeting the other man's face. "Yeah. Um. Yeah." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-07-03 05:23 am UTC (link)
	"But I don't want to," he said, looking up at Gabe, his tone edging towards desperate. "You're the closest thing I have to family here, the closest thing I have to anything. And I don't want to, to, to..." He didn't know the end of the sentence. He grew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-07-03 05:28 am UTC (link)
	"That's not a choice I get to make," Gabe said, one shoulder slightly higher than the other as he slumped. You want to, he thought. Or you don't. And in Gabe's experience, it always turned out that it was don't. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lifeibreathe 2010-07-03 05:34 am UTC (link)
	"I don't want to hurt you," Zadkiel finally managed. "You're my friend." He didn't sound quite sure about the second part. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	afterwedie 2010-07-03 05:37 am UTC (link)
	"Yeah, well, too fucking late, alright?" Gabe took a step back. "You know- you say your goddamn religion- you say you want to help people and you're leaving because of something Maxxie said? Fuck, Zadkiel. Just... just fuck." (Reply to this) (Parent)

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