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Gabe Wilder ([info]afterwedie) wrote in [info]we_float,
@ 2010-07-02 20:36:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:character: gabriel wilder, character: zadkiel thrush

Who: Zadkiel Thrush and Gabriel Wilder
What: Zadkiel wants to meet and discuss a number of things.
When: Friday, July 2
Where: The clinic, then who knows?
Status: Open; in progress

He wondered why Zadkiel wanted to talk.

It wasn't a question that Gabe would ask but it weighed on his mind as he lit his cigarette and inhaled the smoke, feeling the warmth against his lips and simply holding it there for that reason alone. He leaned against the wall, feeling cool red brick press against his cheek as he took another drag. Six o'clock and he wondered if Zadkiel would come outside or if he'd need to go in.

There were a lot of things that Gabe was wondering- it was easiest to stick with the same things than to look back on the others. Particularly after his conversation with Maxxie. Everything repeats, he told himself. Especially other people's advice.



(Post a new comment)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 03:54 am UTC (link)
Zadkiel stepped out of the clinic, taking several steps down the sidewalk before he registered that Gabe was actually there. He knew that the other man had agreed to meet him, but he'd managed to convince himself that he wouldn't show up, and that it was better that way.

He bit down on the urge to say, 'You came!' because it would have been a statement of the obvious and embarrassing in its puppydog-ness. What came out instead was, "You know you're some number of times more likely to get bronchitis if you smoke? I could send you an e-pamphlet about it." One corner of his mouth quirked into a not-quite-smile.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-03 04:10 am UTC (link)
"Hey, I can't fucking afford an anti-cancer trait," Gabe said easily. He grinned, though the grin was faint. "Uh, hang on." He stubbed the cigarette out on the ground, sticking the butt back in his pocket.

He stood there for a moment, not quite sure of what to say as he looked at Zadkiel. The "Uhh, how you been?" didn't sound quite right as he voiced it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 04:21 am UTC (link)
"I..." And then he wasn't sure how to finish the sentence. To say that he was fine would be a lie, but anything else would put Gabe under some kind of pressure to... he wasn't sure what. "I've had better weeks," Zadkiel finally managed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-03 04:30 am UTC (link)
"Me too," he answered quietly. "Come on. Let's fucking... go get a Coke or something." Gabe gestured towards the end of the street.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 04:36 am UTC (link)
Zadkiel followed him, his hands shoved into his pockets. He wanted to ask what had happened, but he wasn't sure he should bring anything up while they were walking down the street. For all he knew, it was something that Gabe wouldn't want overheard.

Then again, for all he knew, Gabe wouldn't answer if he asked. So he didn't.

"There's a park," he said. "A few blocks from here. If you want."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 04:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 04:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 04:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 04:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 04:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 05:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 05:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 05:37 am UTC

[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 05:55 am UTC (link)
Zadkiel flinched away from the words. Hearing it that way made it hit home how little he'd really thought the decision through. He'd second and third and fourth guessed himself several times an hour for the past few days. And now the words were coming out all wrong and making things worse.

He looked up at Gabe, swiping at his cheek with the cuff of his sleeve. "No," he said quietly. "I'm not leaving. I'm saying things all wrong." He made a sound that might almost have been a laugh. "Not the first time, is it? But... when I emailed, I thought it would be to say goodbye. But I can't. I don't want to. I don't know how to make things work but I have to try because maybe here I can help..." you "...people. It would go against everything I've tried to do and be my whole life to leave. It's just taken a while to realize it, I guess."

Which probably didn't help at all, but he didn't know what else to say or do, since he couldn't take back what he'd already said.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-03 06:00 am UTC (link)
"You're staying," Gabe's voice wavered a little in surprise. He curled his fingers up, his thumb pressing against his palm. He didn't move but stood there, lost in his own confusion, not sure of what it was that he wanted to say.

Perhaps because he was so used to goodbyes.

He reached inside his pocket, pulling out a cigarette, not to light it but to hold it between his fingers, crushing the tobacco and watching the shreds filter down into the grass.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 06:05 am UTC (link)
"I should have said that part sooner. First." Zadkiel tightened his fingers in the fabric of his pants, fighting the urge to reach out. "I thought about telling you you didn't have to come after all, but... I wanted to see a friendly face, still. Because I still don't know how to do any of this. I just know that it's what I have to do. Which maybe you can help me figure out or maybe you can't, but at least I know you won't... condemn me for not believing like most people do."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-03 06:07 am UTC (link)
"Not believing in what?" Gabe asked. His voice was still quiet, still disbelieving. He expected Zadkiel to walk away, was standing there with every hair on the back of his neck on edge. Waiting.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 06:12 am UTC (link)
"Believing differently," Zadkiel amended. He tilted his head. "Do you want to keep walking?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 06:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 06:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 06:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 06:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 06:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 06:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 04:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 05:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 05:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 05:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 06:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 06:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 06:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 06:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 06:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-03 06:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-03 06:54 pm UTC

[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 06:59 pm UTC (link)
"What...? Oh." Zadkiel bit his lip. This wasn't a good place for another Gabe to show up. "Should we leave?" he asked.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-03 11:24 pm UTC (link)
"It's okay." He shook his head. "I just... I kind of feel like I'm on the verge of calling one." He didn't specify what he meant- Zadkiel would know or he wouldn't. "We're in a park. What the fuck can happen?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-03 11:32 pm UTC (link)
"Just didn't know if getting up and moving would help. And people might notice if there was suddenly two of you. Although I suppose it might not look entirely like you." Zadkiel shrugged.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-03 11:35 pm UTC (link)
"I call them when I get nervous," he said quietly. "You made me nervous."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-04 12:10 am UTC (link)
"I'm sorry," Zadkiel responded sincerely. "I wasn't thinking about how it would come across." I didn't know it would matter that much to you. He picked a small flower from out of the grass and twirled it between his fingers. "We could change the subject to something less nerve-wracking?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 12:24 am UTC

[info]afterwedie
2010-07-04 12:27 am UTC (link)
"I don't know," he admitted. "Sean's not." He shrugged. "He kind of got used to seeing the other mes around but, um, he doesn't really get along with a lot of them."

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-04 12:31 am UTC (link)
"Because they beat him at poker?" Zadkiel asked, the corner of his mouth quirking again. He knew that poker was a card game, usually played for money. He'd never played himself; playing cards were strictly prohibited at home.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-04 12:34 am UTC (link)
"Yeah," he grinned. "That's mostly it. The ones who remember it always want to play for money." Gabe stood up. "Hey, um, you should, like, come over sometime. It's kind of fun. I mean, when Sean and I aren't fighting."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-04 12:37 am UTC (link)
"He wouldn't have to hate me. I've never played poker before, so I would definitely lose." Zadkiel smiled back, glad that Gabe didn't seem to be as upset anymore. "Why do you fight?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-04 12:39 am UTC (link)
"I dunno." He sighed. "We just... um, it's just weird for us. Sean wasn't around much when I was a kid. It wasn't his fault but... I dunno. We're just different. We don't believe in the same shit, you know?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 12:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 12:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 02:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 02:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 02:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 02:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 02:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 02:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 02:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 02:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 02:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 03:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 03:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 03:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 03:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 03:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 03:52 am UTC

[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-04 04:00 am UTC (link)
"Thank you." He dabbed at his eyes with his sleeve, sniffling as he pulled a tissue from his pocket and wiped his nose. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dump all of that on you."

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-04 04:03 am UTC (link)
"It totally wasn't dumping, Kiel," Gabe said, lightly punching the other man in the arm. "Just- don't, okay? I wanted to know. I still want to know. I mean, if you want to keep talking. I'm here to listen."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-04 04:11 am UTC (link)
"I don't know that there's much left to say," Zadkiel admitted with a soft laugh. "I've told you pretty much everything I was never supposed to tell anyone." Except one thing, and what was left to lose now? "What have I told you about my siblings?" he asked.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]afterwedie
2010-07-04 04:13 am UTC (link)
"Not a lot," he answered. "Just that there were several." There had been other details but it didn't feel that it was what Zadkiel wanted.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]lifeibreathe
2010-07-04 04:21 am UTC (link)
"I have five sisters, all older, who share the same mother. I have twenty-four other half-siblings, who have two different mothers. I may have talked about some of them but called them my cousins. My brothers that are closest in age to me. We don't talk about that, either. That men have more than one wife." Zadkiel looked at Gabe sidelong, trying to gauge his reaction. "That's pretty much the last thing I was never supposed to say."

It really was a relief not to have to carry it around.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 04:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 04:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 04:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 04:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 04:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 04:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 04:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lifeibreathe, 2010-07-04 05:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]afterwedie, 2010-07-04 05:14 am UTC


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