"Some days? Everything." Zadkiel shrugged. "I'm afraid of losing what I believe in. That if I bend I'll break. I'm afraid that people will find out... that I'm a Wild Card, and I'll lose my job which I actually like even if it's nothing heroic. That I come from... Oregon." He chewed the inside of his lip. "I mean that I come from the middle of nowhere and led a really sheltered life. I'm afraid people - government people - will realize that I don't exist to them and I don't know what would happen then. I'm afraid of never finding somewhere I belong, and people I belong with. Those are the big ones, anyway."