I don't know anything about that. I don't. But even if it's true, even if we were 'doomed from the start,' that doesn't make what we had 'never any good.' It was good. At least for me, it was great. I was happy. I loved you. And it's not like I was a demon, or had anything to do with it. So don't write off what we had because it ended badly.
I wish I could hate you. I really do. It would be a lot easier if I didn't still love you. A lot easier for both of us.
There's nothing I want more right now than to just get the hell out of here, go back to Stanford, and bury myself in my studies again. But I guess that isn't safe, is it? So I'm stuck here. And I'm going to have to make the most of it. And sure, in a few weeks, months, years, I'll be fine again. Never the same, but fine. But for now...
God, Sam, I just don't know what to do. I'm so lost.