Friends
It will take a long time, but you'll get there.
He'll be put in the middle whatever you do. But no one can keep him from you. You all need to do what's best for him, but the problem is none of you can agree what that is. Is it possible he's just as worried Henrik will hate him?
I honestly haven't gotten involed in the issues of your family. I couldn't. Kol understands why. But priority here, its got to be Henrik.