Remember how that all happened to me too? My parents turned us into vampires without telling us what the fuck was going on. Gave us spelled wine, laced with blood and then my father stabbed us to death, and we woke up completely terrified and confused. Caroline was turned by Katherine, at a time when she knew nothing about vampires, by someone with the face of her best friend. The Salvatores were partially killed by their own father, while being abandoned by the woman they were in love with. When it comes to transitions, the only person who had it easier than Elena was Lee. Not to mention the fact she was relishing being a vampire within about a week.
Kol and what happened to him, I can't ever see the justification in that. Yes, he's my brother and I love him so much, but I've also had the sob speeches thrown at me. And people forget that the last thing Kol did in our world was try to kill me. Because the hunt for the cure would have meant releasing Silas, and he was basically our world's version of Lilith. The first immortal, would have caused giant dooming apocalypse type scenario. Kol spent a lot of time with some covens of witches way back in the 1700s, he knew more about Silas than the rest of us and he was scared enough to try to kill me to stop it. So yes, he went after Jeremy, but rather than dagger Kol to save Jeremy, Elena decided to have him killed.
I don't regret going after Elena. I've regretted a lot in my life, but that, no. One life, to save an entire race of people, particularly my family. Easy trade.
I'm sure I can guess who brought it to your attention.