I was also killed during that incident. Briefly. I was revived but yes. That helps in any case that you are aware..
I don't want to I'm just not sure how to look past it. Though, I'm very aware it isn't your fault I didn't handle the whole thing well. I reached ground zero if you will for quite some time there. Nearly committed suicide more than once. I can no longer have alcohol because of it, it's a whole nearly getting detained messy story. But mainly I want you to be aware that it isn't you I'm avoiding. I've been working desperately with someone to get past this. I am trying to be at a place where I can be friendly with you and Mary. It's just taken me nearly two years now to reach this point. It may take me a bit of time yet if you can be patient with me.
..This is actually the first time I've discussed it with anyone outside of the ones who were there and the professional I'm working with. I don't want to lose anyone else is the reason behind telling you this really. If it seems as though I don't care or am not trying, it's entirely the opposite honestly. I am.