I’m hung over, so I’m already naturally cranky. Forgive me if this is rude, but I’m just going to be blunt.
Don’t bother trying if it’s just for me. You al hate her, and yes, it’s with good reason, just as I hate Jeremy Gilbert and would never forgive him or be his friend, but I’d try and tolerate him and not make him feel like shit on the bottom of my shoes. Why? Because he’s your best friends little brother. That’s me though, I’m used to sacrificing my wants, my happiness and expecting to have the same right to be happy as Klaus, Kol and Rebekah. So no, if you don’t want to, don’t try. I already know what’s going to happen.
I love my family to death. I care about you all and want nothing more than for all of you to be happy. That includes you, that includes Lexi (and Lee by proxy), that includes Stefan and again, by proxy, Damon. I want all of you to be happy, but it seems the favor is not returned, because here is the thing, Caroline: I don’t love anyone else. I don’t want to love anyone else. I love Katherine, despite all the evil, despicable things she has done, I love her. She was there for me in one my darkest times. I was broke and she fixed me. Without her I’ll break again. I don’t let people in Caroline. I don’t. I let Katherine in. I need her. Pity me all you want. Think I’m a fool. Maybe I am, but I don’t care.
It wouldn’t matter if I left her, because the one person I want to want me to be happy more than all of you won’t be. He’s hated every woman I’ve ever loved, hell he even murdered one of them just to be a dick and cover up his own killings in the French Quarter. He’s intent on rubbing the one truly awful mistake I made towards him in my face the rest of my life, no matter how much I apologize. Nothing will ever be good enough where he is concerned. The one person I need to be happy for me the most will never be happy for me in any circumstance. I’ve already been told I’ll be disowned and he’ll never speak to me again if I marry her, so I’m already preparing for that day to come.
You all do what you want. Try. Don’t. But don’t do it for me. Do it because YOU want to. But at this point, I’m pretty much done. I give up. I’m going to support her continued efforts to try and make good with you all. She killed you, so you have every right to be angry, but I have every right to be happy. So I’m going to stay with her, and I’m going to continue to be happy with her and love her with every fiber of my being, because somebody has to. Everyone deserves to be loved by at least one person.
And if one day she breaks my heart, or if the seal sends her back, and Klaus is positively gleeful in my pain and all of you are secretly happy that she’ out of my life one way or another? While I silently break apart and shatter? I’ll still be grateful for the brief moment I was loved by her.