No one said you've abandoned him. Stop taking up defenses and focus on the important thing here. It is not simply Henrik that is the issue at hand.
His concern is not for himself. He is worried for you. For you and your siblings and the fear that you are all so angry and hurt that you will let it tear you apart.
I know you have seen more darkness than anyone could imagine. But you do not have to allow it to reside inside of you. You want to prove your strength? Overcome that.