Even just cracking your back the wrong way years after hardcore acid usage can cause hallucinations and that would definitely explain all of what the frick is going on here if I had ever taken acid at any fricking point in my entire life! Did someone slip me a roofie? Is this just a super lucid dream? Did I fall down a blinking rabbit hole?! If all of that was a dream then why am I still here and why am I NOT somewhere that I recognize?!
Maybe I'm in a coma. No one knows what the frick goes on when you're in a coma, anyway. Or I could be in a black hole. In a new dimension. But probably not because even though I'd like to be an astronaut, I am most definitely not an astronaut and I might have some leg power but certainly not enough to propel myself to the moon. Or I guess I could still be dreaming because that would make the most sense of anything since I've never done acid and this isn't anything like being slipped a roofie and I have had MANY dreams where I'm dreaming about something one minute and then something else WAY different and way off topic the next! And it's called lucid dreaming when you're aware that you're dreaming, you know, and while I've never had one of those before, that doesn't mean that I never COULD have one. It's not like I'm old. New things happen to old people, anyway, even if I DID happen to be old.
I can do anything I want because it's my dream. You know, I could fly. Heck, I could be a fly! I could turn into a wasp or a bee or a hawk, even! Maybe even a slug if I really wanted to, but they're pretty slimy and gross and I don't think I'd ever WANT to be a slug, not that I ever wanted to be whatever the hell I was in the last segment of this dream. I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor. I work at Sacred Heart. Accounting is stupid. My name is Elliot Reid and I'm going to turn into a butterfly because this is a dream and why the heck am I writing in this thing anymore?