Ruby
Show me what he said, exactly as he said it, and then I'll tell you what I think on that. You are both of you at each other's throats and wanting to see the worst of each other and neither of you are willing to budge an inch on it. I don't believe he would hurt her; he's not the type to do something like that just because.
No. He doesn't. He gives his perspective on things, tries to show other angles, the same way you do. Just because I see Cas's side of things doesn't mean I'm blind, Ruby. I generally try to stay out of it, so I see both sides of it. I know he gets pretty vehement, but I don't think you know the way you come across to him, a lot of the time.
You also belittle him, his thoughts, his feelings, and exclude him because you don't like what he has to say. The moment he expresses an opposing opinion to yours, you start treating him like an enemy. You drive him further away when you do that. And yet you wonder why he struggles to think of you as a friend.
It's not about him still learning. He's not a blank slate trying to fill in missing pieces. He's a person and always has been and is trying to fit into a place that he perceives differently than everyone else. He is trying. All I ask is that you keep trying too. I know you guys can be civil and friendly. I've seen you do it. But him making a mistake or having a different opinion shouldn't be made out to be more than what it is. And I'm not saying this is all on you, believe me, I'm not. I just want the fighting to stop. I'm sick of seeing everyone get so hateful over this shit. It just makes things worse.