Ruby
I see plenty. I see that every time he messes up even slightly, or says something that doesn't agree with what other people think, he gets jumped on and hammered with verbal abuse. And then people ask him why he doesn't trust them, or why he isn't doing more to help them, and rarely, if ever, does anyone try to understand or support him. This isn't a new thing, it's been going on since he showed up. And he's not the only one who's gotten treated like this.
You're looking at him putting forth his knowledge and viewpoint as a personal attack on your relationship to Sam. It's not meant to be. He just wants to make sure every angle gets covered. He's open and honest and he's takes people's words for what they are, so when you tell him that you get the final say because you're his wife and that Cas doesn't get a say? What he's hearing is that you are dismissing his concerns because he was the one who offered them. I'm not saying Cas is always right, but please, try to work with him, instead of just shutting him down when he disagrees.
Sam without his soul shouldn't be making big decisions, I know. We all have the understanding that his soul is shattered, right? You put it back in him, it could heal, yeah, but it might not. Which brings me back to, if Death can't fix it, could we put his soul somewhere safe until we can find a way to heal it? Get it out of Hell, but not immediately put it back in his body? It may be safer, for a time.
You insult him too, Ruby. People insult each other on here all the time. Whether they actually talk to them or not isn't relevant. I know how people get around here, I guarantee you there's people posting filters to each other bitching about Cas or other people, anyone that pisses them off.
I get it. Him not being the Cas you knew before. It's hard, when they change. I still have trouble with Charley. You shouldn't look at this Cas and expect the other one and then get mad when he's not the same. Their experiences are different. He doesn't know you the way the old one knew you. If you get mad at him for not being like the old one, he's not going to see why, he's just going to see that you are mad at him for being him. Believe me, I know how hard it can be, but keep trying. Learn to see THIS Cas. You need to meet him halfway if you want it to work.