You might. I won't lie, people can be terrible. There is a darker side to the human condition. But what are your choices. Avoid life, hide from it? You take the bad with the good or ultimately what's the point.
You know you're not the only one likely not sleeping. Do you not think everyone else that suffered the cage and others that have suffered the horrors of Lawrence have similar problems.
I'm going to suggest you get help. Because if you really wanted to die you'd have just done it and not posted about it so many times. You clearly want to let people in, so stick to it this time. Or you'll accept it, do the same thing again spitting in the face of what they've offered you and eventually people will stop listening