Kon
Look, kid, there's lots of blame to pass around here. You shouldn't have looked when Cas told you not to. He shouldn't have even asked you to go when you were at less than 100%. I shouldn't have lost my temper and put you at risk being exposed to so much magic.
The point here is, we can't take any of that back. We have to deal with it and learn to live with it. We have to work on you healing and hopefully getting back to the loveable and annoying pain in the ass we already knew.