Hi, I’m Lois Lane--yes, that Lois Lane, but we'll get to that in a bit--and since we’ve had some new people and a change in the status quo around here I decided to update the damn explanation post. Read, be informed.
People who already know all of this let me know if I left anything out.
1. Where/When Congratulations, you’re in Lawrence, Kansas and its the Year 2013. And that’s a city on Earth in case you’re wondering (for those of you who weren’t and are now like WTF we’ll get to that in a bit)
2. How did you get here? A seal broke. It was a special Seal. A mystical one that somehow kept the Devil in some cage. Yeah, like that Devil. Aka Lucifer. Morningstar. And a thousand different names so we’re not going to go into them. Fair warning he likes to troll the internet we all use (why? we don’t know. I think he’s an attention seeker. Daddy issues.) But this Seal likes to bring in anyone and everyone. We get old people, young people, four year olds. So far no one has quite figured out the why’s of who’s chosen, but you know, Congrats.
3. Seriously, the Devil?! Yes. He’s actually real. As are Angels. And Demons. And a whole other slew of nasty things that go bump in the night--though careful on your prejudices there because not all the things that go bump in the night are bad.
4. Demons and Monsters Right so back to those demons. You can’t just stab them or shoot them. Well you could but we don’t recommend it as they’re actual human beings that are being possessed and you need to exorcise the demon out of them. And the exorcism is in Latin--which if you don’t know, don’t worry, we’ll get to learning that crazy language in a bit.
5. Protection And don’t worry, you can protect yourself from demons. There’s this nifty, albeit ugly amulet that wards off demons. Also a bunch of circles and seals and other things, but let’s not overwhelm ourselves. And yes even you people with superpowers need one of these things because they can still possess your ass and the last thing we need is a body with powers reeking havoc. It’s not fun.
6. Did you just say superpowers? Right, so, all those superheroes and gods you heard about when you were a kid? Yeah, they can be real here. Vampires. Werewolves. Succubi? Harry Potter and his crew? Also real. So basically anyone who you think is fictional, isn’t fictional here, and technically isn’t fictional on their world so you know let that sink in for a minute.
You might look up and see Superman just flying around--though probably not because Clark tries to be subtle, but Krypto is a show off so you might see our dog.
7. What about my phone, laptop, etc? It’s not going to work here. But go ahead and try it. You won’t get through to anyone. People might find you on the boards though. And we’ll give you a shiny new one or gift cards if you’re paranoid and want to purchase your own.
8. But how do I go home? You don’t. Sucks, right? The Seal might send you home eventually, but you’ve got no say in when it happens.
And no being a god means shit, portals don’t work, even the TARDIS can’t do shit. So yeah, welcome to Lawrence.
9. But then where do I live? We’ve got a couple of places set up for you to live. If you know someone here they’ll probably drag you to wherever they’re staying. If you don’t know anyone we can put you up in one of the temporary places or get you a hotel room. We’ll also bring you the amulet and a few gift cards to help you get by for a bit and help you out. If you don’t want help, that’s fine, but take the damn amulet.
10. So what do I do now? That’s up to you. Live your life, go to school, skip school. Get a job. Cry. Scream. The whole gamut is available. There are classes available for learning what you’re going to face here and attached is the schedule Rose will probably have an orientation class too and she’ll post on the boards about it when she does.