Guilt. Heartbreak. Disappointment. It's easier to give in when I'm down and hungry, but I'm eating enough and staying pleasantly buzzed or outright drunk. It's easier to ignore when I'm distracted.
Rebekah, I have used you far too often in the desire to do the "right thing" for one person. And believe it or not, it weighs on me. I'm tired of hurting you. I don't want to do it anymore.