I used to think the same thing. Right before the end, I told Jerry I'd rather die than be like him. I didn't get it then. And now I do. Don't you remember how it feels? You were one of us. You could be again.
You're still so young, Amy. So full of hope. You've not had the time or experience yet to reach a point where you are just so fucking bone-deep tired of life, of trying, of everything... There's a point so low that not even love can save you from it. Becoming this... it made all of that go away. It's like a dream, Amy. Only it's real.