Maybe we get what we deser I'm just so tired, Peter. Of the running cat and mouse avoidy bullshit that keeps happening. Every time things start getting normal and okay again, shit happens and we're back to running from each other. I'm just tired of it. It's like I said the other night... You're my best friend here, Peter. And I've spent more time avoiding you than anything else and I'm not okay with that. It shouldn't be that way. I think we've fought more here than we used to. Or at least it's lasted longer. Been over bigger shit. I don't...I don't know what that means. I just...I wish it could be like it used to be, before things got weird. But things are different now. You're different. And I'm still the same. And maybe that's just the way it's supposed to be here. Maybe we just...are growing apart or something. Going in different directions. I don't know. I lo care about, Peter, and I don't want this shit to come between us, but it keeps coming up, keeps coming back, and I don't know if that's supposed to be a sign or a test or what, but I hate it. I fucking hate it.
I dunno. What you said. It hurt, Peter. I understand it, I really do, because I still feel it when I look at you too, but still. I...I don't know what to do with that, what to do about it.
But...you know, this shit not withstanding? At the end of the day, I don't want apology's and the "you deserve better"'s. Cause it's just us, being us, in really fucked up, special, extenuating circumstances. So we'll do what we always do. And we'll figure out a way around it. Somehow. Cause we have to. Cause I refuse to lose you to this shit. I won't.