My best mate, March. He was like you, in a lot of ways. Became a killer. And people wrote him off and hated him, so his reaction was to say fuck everyone and he just became worse until there was nothing left of the guy I knew.
But not you. You didn't let what they said stop you trying to be better. You were brave enough to face the serious scary that is real emotions and that made me think that maybe I could do it too.