Dean
I think you're self destructing because you think they deserve better but don't think you can be better.
Which by the way is a pile of crap. If I can do it, if I can leave the past where it is and fall in love and have a child then why the hell can't you.
You think I don't know how you feel. I do. Probably better than most people. So talk to me. I've told you before if you don't figure yourself out you'd lose her and that frankly would be the worst mistake of your life. So work it out Dean.