It's the boss's birthday at Charlie's tonight so all drinks are half off.
Since I'm on duty and I know people have been having a crappy couple of days and I'm also very thankful for my restored sanity, I'll slip in an extra 25% off. That's right, folks. 75% off drinks tonight and tonight only. Just use the code words "hell bitch" or "body swap" since I don't know some of you.
Also, that will only work with me. Say either of those things to my coworkers and you'll probably get the crazy person look and no drink.