[edit (a few hours after the post); filtered from evil]
Either I’ve blacked out in the field again and am having some sort of stress induced hallucination or I’ve been kidnapped by aliens who want to harvest my DNA. With the way things are going lately, either is highly possible. Why they would bring me to Kansas, though, I have no idea.
Third option: Loki. When all other explanations fail, it’s always Loki.
In any case, my name is Janet Pym aka Janet van Dyne aka the Wasp. Does that sound familiar to anyone? I’ve gotten kind of famous lately— Oprah famous, not Jon Stewart famous, I’m ashamed to say— so maybe someone knows me here. If not, I’m just going to sink back into obscurity and feel like an ass for bragging about Oprah. I solemnly swear on Tony Stark’s trillion dollar penthouse that I’m one of the good guys.
I’m going to stop here before I embarrass myself further but if anyone could be of assistance, I’d appreciate it.