Letting it in bit by bit is a good way to proceed when you have the choice. I did not have a choice, but I left my friend with no other option but to completely break down the defenses I had in place. As brutal as the road seems to work towards getting someone to believe in you again, the most brutal part lies within yourself. The struggle that each step forward creates within you is exhausting. Sometimes, it feels so much easier to just stop and not move forward. Sometimes it feels like at any moment I could fall back into the evil person I was for so long. But I still push myself to keep moving forward even though it hurts, even though it is the most difficult thing I have ever done.
It was something unique to the world I am from, and apparently a better option than out-right killing me. I would have preferred death over that existence. I certainly do not hope it takes that long because I do not have that amount of time to spare. I am living on borrowed time as it currently stands.