That makes sense... I mean, it takes a lot to comprehend certain reasoning... Extreme 1 can't exactly be expected to understand Extreme 2, and vice versa, right? The issue, you mean, the issue with me, with my actions? Yeah, it's probably more the damage than anything, but how can I come back from that? How do I change that?
I have loved...and effectively, my actions caused a loss. And for awhile, I was so focused on getting that back, getting him, nothing else really mattered. And I guess that's where it leads to love being almost, essentially, a weapon. I was willing to do anything and everything to have him back. It probably did nothing more than burn the bridge further than it already was. You're right about the running, though... when I lost him, running was my life once again and I guess it's just easier to shut it all off than deal with it. And that's the thing...my kind of vampire...we actually can shut the emotions off, so for awhile, it's that much easier to ignore it all.
Easier said than done. Trusting people who'd rather have me dead? That's not a mindset I think anyone could switch any time they pleased.