Excuse me? Don't you dare assume to know what I've lived through. I've seen people I love die. Friends. The person who knows me best be willing to die and then die in front of me. I've lost agents who relied on me, I've watched the one place that makes me happy go up in flames and was powerless to stop any of it. And not once did I think that letting myself wallow in self pity was the answer. Not once did I think death was the answer because that's just cowardly and selfish and will hurt those who still care. So don't you dare try to invalidate my own experiences or those of other people here.
So what, because he knew all that, that makes your other friends inferior? Grow up. The world keeps spinning whether you like it or not and you are presently nothing more than a sham, looking for pity when there are other threats out there. But who cares! He's dead, nothing matters! Clearly that's the best way to honor his memory.
And? That's supposed to excuse this idiocy? Stop using that as a reason. Its part of being human, caring. So deal with it. Work through the pain, something, because this is disgusting and insulting to everyone who has lost someone they care about.