InsaneJournal

Dear Phoebe,

I'm married to a guy that I really love. I know that he loves me too, but the problem is that we did rush into things and my husband has gone through some issues that have caused him to pull away from me. He's really distant, quite, and he doesn't really do a whole lot anymore. I can't really talk him into changing his behaviors.

I'm really worrying about him and I don't know if I should push him to stop because what he's doing isn't healthy or if I should let him be because I have no idea what he's actually going through.

What should I do?

Sincerely,

Whiney Wife


Dear Whiney Wife,

At the moment, this sounds like a one-side marriage. It may be a little trite, but a marriage does take two people, and it often does need to be worked at. If you haven’t already attempted to sit him down and talk things out – even shout things out – with him, do that. If you have, well, does he have any other family members or close friends that he listens to? Maybe talking to them would help, and enlist them in an intervention.

What he’s doing doesn’t sound healthy to me, so it’s definitely something you should try and have him stop, but pushing won’t always work. Coaxing might – get him involved in things that are going on around you, particularly in your life and the life of the people the two of you know. Don’t simply let him be, because that may cause him to fade further into the background.

Good luck,

Phoebe.