Red
Oh, it's gonna be like that? Okay. You asked for it
Back in 1983 when shit was apparently boring in Hell, ol' boy decided he wanted to create an army of human freaks to someday, twenty some-odd years later, help break all the demons out of hell. So, he sent one of his bullshit minions, some motherfucker with yellow eyes, to kill my mother by setting her shit on fire in my nursery when I was six months old.
...you probably want to hear more, you know, for entertainment value and all. So I'll continue.
Enter my 23rd birthday. Oh, hi there, I can suddenly control people's minds. I can make them do whatever I want them to do. For a while, that shit was pretty bad ass; I never had to pay bills or buy pot or do anything I didn't want to do. And then I found out I had a twin brother. He had the mind control shit too. Only he went bad, told a shit load of people who helped to separate us at birth to kill themselves. And they did.
More? Okay, sure, onward, ho.
So, a few months later, I wake up in the middle of some random Frontierland lookin' town with a bunch of freaks just like me. One with the power to stop someone's heart just by touching them, one with super strength, and two with death visions. Guess why we were there? Need a hint? To kill one another until there was only one left standing and that was the chosen one to lead the new goddamn demon army.
...I lost. One of the death vision ones sic'd a demon on my ass and it ripped my heart out. Sometimes, when I'm not high and I'm sitting around alone at night thinking about how the fuck my life turned out the way it fucking did, I can still feel it.
Why, you might ask, didn't I just tell you to filter your shit since I know damn well if I did you would have and you'd have even liked it? Because, I won't let that motherfucker win and I refuse to sit back and watch someone as careless as you put all of my hard work in jeopardy.