That sucks, man. If it's any consolation, I don't think these people rightly care what any of us can do long as we don't get added to their list of casualties. That's how it's sounded to me anyway. And I'm not gonna be a dick and pretend to know what it's like or anything... But having to keep a secret about yourself that pretty much makes up your entire life from everyone around you - kinda makes me feel the same way at times. Not wanting to meet or get close to people, I mean.
Least you got it under control now. I'm still trying to figure out that balance myself.