Self degradation. That's not getting you anywhere in this particular conversation, Sam. What is wrong with you? Seriously.
Your wife is a mess because you're being an idiot.
Let me just point some things out to you.
1. You married her. Do you remember what was in your vows? Like at all? Or did you think the whole marriage thing was some game? She's extremely upset. There's no reason for her to be that upset. It may be a dark time and difficult, but hope isn't lost yet, so you're being stupid, insensitive, and a jerk.
2. Do you really think that dying, that giving up is noble? It's not, all you're going to do is hurt a lot of people because you're having a moment of weakness that you could fight off.