Mary
I gave up on the normal part, and the mother part. So I get left with good wife, and I'm messing that up too so I don't know where to go from there.
I have to admit it, that Dean...
...nah, turns out I can't even joke about that.
It's funny, I don't feel the same as you guys. I should, and I try to, and sometimes I think I'm close but it cuts you deeper than I think I go. I'll fight and I'll make amends for my part in it but I want him to live. I want to have our house and our pets and our life. And I don't see why I should have gotten to feel something this amazing only to lose it again.
I don't think I'm strong enough to be this person without him. And that's not a stupid childish statement, he actually taught me how to be a person.