Ruby I really wish you'd say this in person instead of online
To be honest, I was trying to give you what you wanted. You told me last year that you wanted to be more human, you wanted to learn more about it and find your own humanity, and...that's why I tried to treat you like you were human....hell, I even forgot, for a long time, that you weren't human. I guess that's my fault. Our friendship goes against everything I grew up learning, Ruby. Hunters and demons should hate each other. We should be trying to kill each other, but...I saw past that, and I gave you chances, maybe more than anyone should have, but I did. And I started to care about you, and love you like a sister. A strange, quirky sister, but family all the same.
I wasn't going to you for understanding or advice. I just wanted my friend to be beside me, even if she was mad at me. But instead you cut me out....we haven't even seen each other in months. And it hurt. It still does. I'm glad you don't hate me, but it really felt for a while like you did.
I'm sorry that you're jealous, and that you think I've been taking this all for granted...and you're right, I have. It took me a while to see that, but I do, now, and despite the mistakes I made and the choices, and the regrets I have for making them....I still look at these kids like they're a miracle. That wish bauble thing really worked, and even though I made probably the stupidest wish I could have made, I'm still going to love them.
I'm sorry I went to you guys at the wrong time, but the fact is I did it because I was scared to death of all this. I've learned to aacept it now, but I'm still going to be scared, just because....the world is different for me now. I'm not just thinking of myself anymore.
I do need a friend, and I'd like to still have you as mine. I promise not to ask for advice, but there's some pretty amazing things going on here that I'd like you to be a part of...but it's up to you.
I'm sorry that I made you angry and that we were fighting, and I'm sorry for the things I said and did. I really have taken everything you've said to heart, Ruby.