Allana
Allana. The dark can only affect you as much as you let it. Those memories you're talking about? Scabs. Keep picking at them and they'll never go away. Accept them, accept that having them doesn't mean you're somehow evil now, and move on from them. Otherwise those wounds are just gonna get infected and eat away at you.
I'm really not who you want to be asking that t Before I explain that, lemme ask you something. When I was eleven, I saw almost everyone I ever cared for slaughtered. I used the Force to resurrect my master from death. That a bad thing?