Oh suuuck. I was like gone for a year or two I think. I'm not sure. It's super hard trying to break down the timeline.
People keep calling it a succubus, but like I don't think I get energy from sleeping with people?? As a matter of fact, I think I give energy to them. Or at least the elf. He takes some from me whenever we sleep together, but I'm all good with that cause he has such a hot body.
No, not really. If it was Orlando Bloom in a wig, I wouldn't be on the internet talking to you. I would be locked in the bedroom with him forever, you know? Naw, he just sorta looks like Legolas but his name is too ridiculous to bother with.
Don't worry, it's cute! Like, who cares if you killed a buncha people? Everyone around here has some kind of blood on their hands, so they can shove their judgment.
[FILTERED TO AVA] It'd be pretty hard for them to do it, but I don't really want to test it, you know?
Jennifer. So you wouldn't happen to like girls, would you? No, bad Jen, don't scare her off.