That's what they said at home, that whatever else he did he always loved me. There were a lot of lectures about how I couldn't be angry, how I should forgive him. But forgiving a memory is very different than forgiving a living person isn't it? I don't know if they would have said the same thing if he were still alive. Mother doesn't seem to have forgiven him and she loved him. Or she said she did.
And besides...it's silly. I know it's silly. It's just, if I care about him and then I go home, where he's dead, where he's damned if what I heard Uncle Luke and Ben talking about is true...that will hurt. I know fear feeds into the dark side of the Force but I'm scared of that.