|Myka Ophelia Bering (beringandwells) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2014-09-15 12:40:00
|Entry tags:||myka bering|
Who: Myka Bering (Narrative)
When: Afternoon, September 15th
Where: House Warehouse
What: Myka is reflecting
Rating: S for Sad.
In the week she had been back in Lawrence, Claudia, had barely left her line of sight. Wherever Myka looked, there she was. It was like she had grown a shadow. A Claudia-sized shadow. Every so often she found herself pulled into a hug or told how much she had been missed. Each time beginning with her reminding her "little sister" that she knew but welcoming a hug anyway. Hugging wasn't something that she and Tracey did often growing up. The truth was they hardly ever hugged and if they did it was awkward and most likely forced.
The one post that she had made was a result of the never-ending nudges she had been receiving. And she had said as much much to Claudia's amusement. Not one thing said in that conversation was a lie. She was impressed with how long Claudia had held out and knew she had been missed. Her pain over her son pulling away from her wasn't something she could hide either. It was written all over her face every time he did it.
Though it had only been long since she last recalled having seen her, for Claudia and Hatter it had been months. Months where they were solely responsible for her son who was left behind. A son that she hadn't even remembered giving birth to upon returning home. But the Seal had saw fit to bring her back with her memories of Lawrence in tact. Whether that was a full blessing or a curse she hadn't yet determined. Sure, Myka now had the memories, feelings and after effects - whatever some of those may be - of events that when she was here last were all part of their future, but it wasn't all that mind boggling. The displaced often came and went returning with new memories. On more than one occasion she had noticed talk about it on the boards. Hell, Svetlana and Anatoly had returned with their memories in tact and a few more memories from home. And while she may not have gotten along all that well with either of them it was a much closer example than just another of the displaced on the boards. Needless to say, Myka, was well prepared to process everything and not let it get her down.
Not even her memories of the Cage were going to get her down. Her nightmares had returned but she had also grown in the time she had been away. Endured through another round of Warehouse crazy and perhaps that was why she wasn't as affected as she had been. There wasn't a fear of talking with others, going out in public or getting her life together, as it had been before. No, the only thing weighing her down was Aidan's reluctance to want to be with her.
Breakfast had ended with them both shedding tears. Lunch hadn't gone any better. Food had been thrown as well as a temper tantrum like she had never seen from him before. The only peaceful moments had been when Claudia slipped in to see him. Prompting Myka to quickly pull her aside around lunch. She needed to spend the rest of the day with just him. Mother and son. It had to be the only way that she'd get him comfortable with her again. If she needed her, Myka, would give her a call on her Farnsworth and they'd go from there. But until that time it was just going to be her and Aidan.
As Aidan finally slept, Myka, who was currently sitting and resting against his crib, leaned back and gave a faint sigh of relief. Getting him to go down for a nap hadn't been easy. But she had done it. He was finally sleeping peacefully after a good thirty minutes of crying. She had almost called Claudia on her Farnsworth so Aidan could see her. It would have stopped his crying but done nothing to repair the rift that had formed between her and her son.
Myka wanted so desperately to attribute it to him getting older. All the books she'd read during her 3 months of pregnancy said that as children grew older their sleeping habits would change. Their feeding times as well. Her son would be two in a few months it wasn't unnatural for these changes. But the reality was, that it wasn't him getting older. Maybe, in part, but not enough to make such a drastic difference. The truth was she had been gone for months. He had adapted and taken to Claudia and Hatter in her absence. And having her back all of a sudden was too much for him. So, his natural instinct was to pull away. To pull away from the woman who gave birth to him and fed him for the first few months of his life.
If she was alone in a room with him he would abandon his toy and run off as fast as his little legs would carry him. Calling out for 'Dia and 'ader. Never mama. Save for her very first day back in the house he hadn't called out for mama. Hadn't wanted her to hold him or read him a story. Not unless Hatter and Claudia were in the room. It was only then that he seemed okay with her presence. Myka knew it would take time but as she sat on the floor of his room she wished it wasn't necessary. All she wanted was for them to be as close as they once were. For her to hear his ever persistent "mama, mama" again and not 'dia, 'dia. She wasn't religious but Myka said a silent prayer that time would be on her side before quietly rising and slipping from his room.