Bonnie Bennett (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} littlewitchy) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} wariscoming, |
She wasn't exactly the most talkative about her problems to begin with, but spilling her problems to someone who was right there on the border between sanity and insanity wasn't exactly a comforting feeling. That wasn't even including the fact that he was, technically speaking, an enemy. Bonnie hadn't let her guards completely down, but her need to figure out and fix her magic was greater than her need to keep away from Kol.
She'd never admit it, but he was smarter than she had realized he was too. He seemed to have an actual understanding about magic. And if it weren't for the fact that the two already had bad blood between them, and the fact that he were a murderous Original, she would have respected him.
"It doesn't matter what I did for them so much as what I did that caused them to cut me off." Bonnie admitted, a frown marring her face. She remembered that they had wanted her to help Alaric turn. And that was just one of the many situations that they had forced her into, there were many times where she'd done what the spirits wanted, so many she couldn't remember all of them. "I helped your brother, for one. And I tried to help Elena using dark magic, to keep her from staying a vampire. I resurrected Jeremy. I helped your brother again. They didn't want me tapping into dark magic or going against them. They would have left Jeremy dead, Elena a vampire, and helping Klaus get out of Tyler's body was just the last straw, I guess."
Bonnie had been very bad at abiding by the spirit's wishes. She'd wanted to do what she wanted to do. That had been part of the appeal of Expression, being able to make her own decisions. She knew why she hadn't asked questions, and it had been stupid. She didn't really need to be told that by him.
And she didn't really need to lose control in front of him, but that was out the window already too. Giving a shake of her head, Bonnie admitted the truth. "No, I didn't mean to do that." Bonnie remained there, leaning against her knees. Her eyes closed as Kol began his lecture. Much as she wished he were lying, she knew that he was telling the truth. She could feel the way that her magic had been reacting. She knew it was a matter of time before it got to that point. Before it got worse. The problem was that the solution to fixing this magical problem....was so hard for her. How was she supposed to control her emotions?
She got the danger. She understood that she was on a slippery slope. She just didn't know where the end was going to be here. She didn't know what was going to happen, how this was going to be fixed, or how she was going to manage this. "Controlling my emotions is easier said than done." The witch muttered before sitting back up, trying to stay both under control as well as project more strength after showing such weakness in front of Kol.
Narrowing her eyes, Bonnie gave a slight shake of her head. He couldn't read her mind. He didn't even really know her. She wouldn't have done it. She wouldn't have chosen to go down this path if she'd known more. "You. Me. I don't know, but I don't think I would have gone through with it, can we move on?"