Love was a dangerous thing to him. It often ended in pain, one sidedness and sadness. And in the end, abandonment. He also didn't feel he deserved it. He couldn't exactly place it into words as to why, but everything that had happened here in Kansas had lead up to those feelings.
Even a simple act like celebrating a birthday was uncomfortable for him. He didn't see himself as worth celebration. He'd done some terrible things and lost many friends to those things. Why should he be happy when they possibly were not? And yet Mary insisted. And Florence, and the small group of friends he did maintain hadn't let him just forget. They didn't let it pass him by and he didn't know what to say to them just yet.
"Sorry. Must have lost track of time on the way home." He didn't realize how much of it he'd spent at Sherlock's. He was tired. When people asked him often if he was happy he could truly only give them a half answer. Happiness wasn't a thing he felt for very long. There were moments, sure. But then he'd retire to his own empty bedroom and it would ebb away, leaving him alone once more. Smiles only partially reached his eyes as he gave her one. "You didn't need to go out of your way for me.." He said quietly as he made his way inside to sit at the table in front of it, after a good while finally tugging at the paper as curiosity gave way.