Caroline squeezed his hand, holding on tightly with the one he’d gotten out from under the covers. She hadn’t meant for it to get as far as it had, hadn’t meant to worry anyone like she had, or to run away like she’d done. It was all a mess and she really hated messes. She wanted to wipe it all up, to fix it all, but she didn’t have a clue how to go about doing that. “I don’t ever want to turn it off. I don’t want to stop feeling, to stop loving, to stop caring. I’d rather have all of the bad if it means I get to keep the good.”
She didn’t want to accidentally flip it and become a shell of her former self though she knew Klaus would do everything in his power to get it flipped back on. “I don’t know where to start.” There was so much to go through, so much to deal with, and the idea of just picking one frightened her some. “I guess its just pick one, any of them and start there, huh?”
Caroline scooted closer to him, resting her head on his thigh as she closed her eyes, tears not flowing as freely as they had been. She knew he meant every word he’d said, that he really did just want her to be happy with her life, and not for the first time Caroline wondered how she’d gotten so damn lucky. For someone who’d always been second best, Klaus never treated her that way and she was so grateful for that. He loved her and she loved him and no matter what he had done or what he might do, she knew he really did value her happiness. Otherwise he’d never have made as many conscesions as he had through the year.
“I don’t want to die. I don’t want to leave you again. To leave everyone again and I know that what I wished for will make it so much harder to kill me...but I still. I still remember what it felt like to have that piece of wood pierce my skin.” She didn’t remember pain more than the knowledge that she was dead, that her life was over before it had even begun. She shook a little, holding on tightly to his hand as she remembered that day, pressing her cheek against his thigh as she tried to control her emotions. Except maybe she needed to let it all out, controlling them hadn’t done her any good.
“I’m tired though. So can your crazy witch friend take us home and we can do the whole talking thing in our bed? Cause I’d really like to be in the safety of our own room if we’re going to do this, okay?” Because as pretty as Australia was, it was foreign and didn’t offer the comfort that their bedroom did. She needed that sense of safety and while she definitely felt it with Klaus being there with her, she knew she’d feel even safer back in Lawrence in their house.