Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Jinkies!"

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

Olivia Vincent is cheeky, foulmouthed, and flirty. ([info]mamavincent) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2014-02-02 22:46:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:castiel, olivia vincent

Olivia Vincent [Narrative OR open to housemates!] & Castiel
Sunday, mid-afternoon, February 2, 2014; The kitchen in Vincent & Co's house
PG (BUT ALL THE FEELS!)/In progress

James was dead. He was gone and he wasn't coming back.

Olivia had done her best to reach out to people, to try and find some other way to handle the day she would soon be forced to face. Talking to the others, knowing she wasn't the only one that had to do this brought a sense of not being alone, but aside from that, there wasn't much comfort to be found from such a terrible piece of common ground they all shared. Mostly, it was suggested that she pay no mind to it, ignore it, focus on the good in her life. Because that was just it. She was alive and she should be happy about that. But she couldn't really bring herself to just let it go. Because as much as it was the day her life ended, now, here in this place where she did have a second chance at life, it was the day she lost her husband. Her wonderful, perfect, maddening husband who she had been so certain she wouldn't have made it past the first date with.

She sat alone in the kitchen at the table, idly stirring the tea she'd just made, staring blankly at the wall. The calendar to the left told her it was February 2, 2014. She'd rather just forget the day existed. A sigh escaped her as her eyes dropped to the cup on the table. She couldn't even bring herself to drink it, so instead she stood up and took the dishes to the sink and busied herself with cleaning what bit was left in the sink from the previous night's dinner.

At this point, Livvy had decided to try and focus on other things, focus on her friends, on her son. Her son, who had somehow miraculously survived, even when she wouldn't have expected him to be able to escape that monster's hand. He had made it out of that house alive, against the odds. He had survived and she and James' sacrifice hadn't been for nothing.

In all her months in Lawrence, she still had not truly allowed herself to grieve. She didn't want to face the fact that her husband was really gone, so she didn't. But now, here, facing the very day that it had happened made it so much harder to ignore. Only now was she beginning to realize something she'd known, but had not truly clicked in her mind. James was dead. Her husband was gone. But hadn't she died as well? And here she was, standing, unhurt and whole. She wasn't sure how. Magic, she supposed, even if the idea of it still seemed far-fetched, despite everything else. But James... he was gone. Just...gone. And she didn't know how to deal with that.

Olivia was still standing in the kitchen, dishes washed and set aside to dry and her hands now gripping the edge of the counter as her mind was flooded with memories, so many memories of the husband she held so dear. The day they met, the way he was so persistent in trying to date her, the way he'd managed to get her attention and actually damn near beg for a second date and a third. She could still remember the cheap plastic ring he'd given her in the too-quickly asked proposal, just a temporary one she could have in place of the real ring he promised her. She could still see in her mind's eye the way she had broken down completely when she realized she was pregnant and how calm and reassuring and bloody ecstatic he had been despite all the stressors Olivia herself was focusing on and somehow he'd actually calmed her down too.

And then there was the thought that shattered it all: He was dead. James was dead. He was gone and he wasn't coming back. She let out a whimper, but it was quieter than she would have expected, and sank down to the kitchen floor, burying her face in her knees. She was choking on sobs, suffocating with the realization of that loss.



(Post a new comment)


[info]ofthursdays
2014-02-03 03:34 am UTC (link)
Castiel hadn't much liked the year so far. Christmas had been empty and hollow, full of loss and battles both physical and philosophical. The physical battle helped bring the lost home and he was glad but it didn't lift the weight over his heart. There were two still lost and those were the two he was most heavily invested in. One was lost in himself and the other was lost to himself. Counting the loss of his friend Juliet and it wasn't looking close to better.

He'd had no news, dare not ask. He was sure his inquires would not we welcome and it was made plain there was no help he could give Sam. He'd been watching Dean from a distance, watching his dreams, but closed off from more by his location. Perhaps Ruby had been right. He was not family anymore. He was back to watching from afar.

All of this he kept to himself, as much as he could. He spoke on it on occasion but he couldn't put it on anyone else. It was his problem. He would take advice but that had brought him here too. Waiting. Unknowing. More unsure of his place than the day he arrived, no more assured they hadn't moved on without him. If all he could do was hurt them, if all he could offer was doubted, wasn't it better he kept out of their way? Didn't he have a new family?

Things with Peter were good, surprising, exciting yet he didn't want to tell anyone. He didn't want to shout it from the rooftops. There was no one, now, he cared to tell save, perhaps, one. He wanted to close his fingers about it and keep it hidden. He wanted to protect it, to keepm his anchor under the water. He had decided secrets and whispers were the way forward now. It would be better, from the shadows while he decided where he belonged.

He walked around the house, thoughts his own and consuming his attention when he made his way past the kitchen. He was drawn through the door by a sound that pushed all other thoughts aside. Livvy. The exceptional one. He knew she, too, was struggling but he hadn't know she was alone until he found her.

He wasn't sure exactly what to do at first. Even now it was sometimes hard to know what human may need if they didn't tell him but he went back in his mind to the time when he was as fragile. He remembered a friend who picked him up from his own grossness. He got down on his knees beside her, closing warm arms around her.

"Livvy," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]mamavincent
2014-02-03 03:55 am UTC (link)
Initially, she stiffened at the feeling of someone touching her, not necessarily unwanted, but certainly unexpected. Once she realized who the arms circled around her belonged to, though, she relaxed, leaned into him. Still unable to speak, she just clung to him, holding onto the comfort she gained from him like a child.

She just sat that way with him for awhile, though she couldn't put an exact time limit on it at all. But eventually, finally, she managed to calm down enough to pull away slightly, wiping the tracks of tears away from her eyes. "I'm...sorry, I- thank you, Castiel." she whispered, her voice slightly hoarse from ll the crying. "I...I don't know what to do. I can't do this," she shook her head, determined not to start crying again. "I don't know what to do without him, Cas. He was my world and now he's gone and he's not coming back and I shouldn't be here either, but I am and I don't know why, I don't know why it would bring me here without him. It's not fair," A sound that could only be described as a hybrid of a sob and a gasp cut her off.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ofthursdays
2014-02-03 04:07 am UTC (link)
With his Grace restored Cas no longer tired. Not physically anyway. He was aware of every second they sat but he didn't feel the strain in his body yet if he had he wouldn't have pulled away a moment before she did.

Castiel pulled her close again as she lost control of her voice. He stroked his fingers through her hair, more familiar with her than he'd ever been. He didn't think of careful boundaries now, with her in pain. His heart thudded harder as he felt her tension, going out in sympathy.

The truth was Cas didn't have an answer for her. He didn't know how to sooth his own grief, nor anyone else's. In that case wasn't it just to be endured? A bitter weight that sucked but what could you do about it? Only he couldn't tell her that. He couldn't give her resignation. He wanted to give her hope and assurance. "You don't have to know today, Dear One," he said gently. "It's alright not to know today."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mamavincent
2014-02-03 04:51 am UTC (link)
Livvy didn't protest when he pulled her close again, at too much of a loss of what else to do besides sit here and cling to him and cry. The grief she'd managed to block out and ignore completely for months had finally caught up to her and it was hitting her in huge, crushin waves. For the moment, though, she was just glad that she had someone there. Someone, honestly, that wasn't Peter. Because she didn't want him to see her like this. So broken and lost. Because she was. She was so incredibly lost without James and she had no idea how she would get through this.

"I...can't." she breathed, taking in a shaking breath. "I don't even know how I'm going to get through today. And I'm just going to have to face it all again tomorrow. And I don't think I can, Cas. I can't live like this, I can't feel this every day and still function like a person." Not that she didn't want to live, the very opposite of that, actually, but she just didn't know how, not like this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]ofthursdays
2014-02-03 05:02 am UTC (link)
Castiel drew on every pain and confusion he felt as a human, he drew on every grief and sorrow he knew for an understanding. He knew what it was to be lost and he also knew he was glad it wasn't Peter who found Livvy, for both their sakes. Castiel wanted to protect them both and here he could, not because he felt them weak but because no one had to carry every pain on offer. Sometimes one could be spared by another.

Sometimes.

"We will help you through today. And tomorrow," he promised. "It's alright if you don't see how today. It's... scary. I know. Hard to trust. Hardest to trust yourself but... we are here and you are human. You can do things that amaze me." Words of faith and trust, sincere, but Cas had no idea if he could help. He just held her and hoped, hiding his fear for her.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]mamavincent
2014-02-03 04:35 pm UTC (link)
Truth be told, there was nothing anyone could do or say to help her, not with this. As much as she hated it, simple fact was the only thing that would truly help her at this point was time. Time healed these things. Or that was what she'd been told, at least. Right now, though, in this moment of pure, unadulterated agony, it just didn't seem possible. How could any amount of time fix this ache in her heart?

"I just don't understand...why me and not him?" she whispered, a rhetorical question really because she knew no one knew how the Seal really worked, why it chose who it did. A nearly bitter and certainly sacrastic scoffing sort of laugh came from her at his last statement. "I don't know what's so amazing about a broken heap on the floor who can't find it in herself to even try to begin picking up the pieces."

(Reply to this) (Parent)



Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs