Who: Marguerite Blakeney (Narrative or OTA) What: Angry singing/thinking When: Early afternoon, 1 April 2013 Where: Music room in the complex Warnings: AF for Angry Frenchwoman.
If Percy had thought that pulling her away from the laptop after Cas' comment would calm Marguerite done, he'd be wrong. It kept her from verbally lashing out at the angel and it kept her from throwing the laptop in anger, but it most certainly did not calm her down. But, she had stayed off the boards until the morning, and Peter's comment hadn't helped either. Of course, by the time she had given up on sleep, she was still angry. Still, she had managed not to say anything completely rash and had managed to word her response in a way that made sense. She doubted it would matter one way or the other but she had managed to at least say what she wanted without saying it the first way that had come to mind.
With a meeting at the theatre the next day to discuss more possible shows for the show case, Marguerite decided that she needed to work on the song she was given to audition for once the shows were official. She had listened to it a couple of times to get a feel for it... and to realize that it was sung by Elphaba, who had, oh, helped her when she had first shown up, but she was an actress. This was what she did. She'd make sure Elphaba wasn't completely bothered by the notion once she was calmer, but for now, it was working on the song. Because if there was one thing Marguerite could hold onto, it was performing. No matter how upset she was, how incensed, she could channel it into her art.
"Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game..."
The first thing Marguerite noticed was how the notes fit within her range, they felt comfortable. But more to that, she had an understanding of the lyrics. They tied to her own life so personally, it was almost unsettling. It had been that way in France. Everyone did as they were told, they accepted the 'rules' of society. Just like here. Filter against the Devil. Do not talk to the Devil. It will keep you safe. Only it didn't. Not really. Sure, it could be seen as painting a target on you and Marguerite well knew that. She wasn't stupid even if the whole talking to Lucifer thing was stupid and dangerous. But Marguerite had never been one to just sit back and bite her tongue. She had tried that. She still nearly died because of him. Because of his demons.
"Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap.... It's time to try defying gravity, I think I'll try defying gravity and you can't pull me down"
But the fact was, she had said it. She had told him that hope would always exist. That people would always fight for it, for what they believed in. It was a fact she held to be true. And because it was done, she wasn't about to waste away worrying about what the next day would bring. Marguerite lived by a simple philosophy. Vivez. Live. And it was very hard to live when you hid behind fears and always worried about the what if scenarios.
Could she be attacked? Perhaps. Percy? Perhaps. After all, it was obvious what her weakness was. Armand wasn't here, just Percy and as all the other versions of their story had her go to France after realizing he was the Pimpernel? Well, it was obvious she would do anything for her husband. Well beyond listen to when he tried to get her to stop talking to Lucifer. She didn't like the vague statement before, she didn't like that he had done it on Eponine's post in terms of having faith no matter how much it hurt to do so. So she spoke. And Percy knew her well enough to know that she would always do as such. Any of them could be attacked because of anything. Lucifer could have decided to lash out without luring people in. Oh sure, he could twist it, but the fact was, no matter what they did, he was going to throw attacks at will. Why not mess with them into thinking it was maybe their fault for saying something. No. She was done playing doll because it was the 'safe' rule to follow.
"I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so, some things I cannot change, but til I try I'll never know."
And oh that had made her livid. Being told to curb her nature. To mind her station. Just because she was an actress. She wasn't a fighter but she still knew how to fight. She had to in order to survive. And she had spent her whole life overcoming the 'limits' of her 'class'. She knew it was possible, that supposed limitations didn't matter, not when you had faith and determination and oh Marguerite had both in spades. But that was why she'd been pulled away. Because that was something she never responded well to. They had tried to keep her down in the streets of France. But she had found her way to reclaim her pride, her dignity. The only way people took that from you was if you let them.
Had she let herself be controlled by limits, she never would have made it as an actress, she never would have married the man she loved. So to be told to mind them? To just accept them? Oh no. Those were fighting words if ever Marguerite heard them. He was trying, whatever. But that didn't change the fact that Cas was an upstart angel thinking he knew the best approach. That didn't change the fact that, like it or not, he was like Lucifer in how he viewed humans, in how he felt hope was pointless. He may fight for humanity, wish them to succeed, but that didn't mean he believed in them in the long run. There was still a hierarchal belief system for him and well, Marguerite didn't believe in those. They were all equal. It was what she had fought for before the ideals turned to revenge and blood was everywhere.
"Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost, well if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost! I'd sooner try defying gravity, kiss me good bye I'm defying gravity, and you can't pull me down!"
Love. Love was something everyone strived for. It was why they fought. It was a great motivator. And yes, the initial reason Marguerite said anything was in defense of Eponine. Because she cared for the girl. Love was what lifted them up, it was a dream and something worth fighting for. It should never be limiting. Not like that. And with Percy, it wasn't. They inspired one another, knew one another. He knew her deepest secrets, he knew the things that hurt her in the past. They held one another up. They had with Dark and they would continue to do so.
"Unlimited, my future is unlimited, and I just had a vision almost like prophecy... I know it sounds truly crazy, and true the vision's hazy, but I swear someday there'll be a celebration throughout Oz that's all to do with me!"
The decision to sing the solo version as opposed to the staged version was simple, for auditioning for the song it was necessary. Once it was cast and the song staged, Marguerite knew that they would add in Glinda's part and it would be reworked. But for the purposes of her singing through her anger, this was what was necessary.
"So if you care to find me, look to the western sky! As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly! And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free, to those who'd ground me, take a message back from me! Tell them how I am defying gravity. I'm flying high defying gravity and soon I'll match the in renown. And nobody in all of Oz, no wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down! Bring me down! Ahhhh!"
Finishing the song, Marguerite closed her eyes as she caught her breath. Sometimes, she tended to get too into the song. Let it take over, but that was the whole point. She had needed it to focus herself. She hadn't expected to resonate so much with it. Her past. Her beliefs. What it was she was fighting for, why she said the things she did, why Cas had angered her so much. But it had. Every struggle she had endured, every scoff and all the comments to keep her head down and mind her place because she was just a poor orphan girl who would never amount to anything. Well, they'd been wrong about her then and they were wrong about her now. She knew that this was more than the darkness within man at work, she knew the threat. Had lived through it, the fear, the conviction of death, not knowing if those who had seen would make it. But she wasn't going to let that fear control her life either. That wasn't who she was, it never would be, no matter what people tried to tell her to be.