Ruby knew part of it, the separation, the struggle to fit in, but she didn't know what it was to fall from Heaven, to lose her power, to lose the certainty it was right, all was right. No one there possibly could know what it was to lose Heaven's Grace, even Ruby though she seemed willing to try. He tried not to focus on how singular his situation was but that wasn't an easy task. For Ruby it had been a rise. Sam knew how to talk to her. No one held back any more. She had said it had been hard at first and he expected it was but it had also been different. Like nothing either of them knew before but he didn't see how he could ever rise as she had when they centre of his universe was lost to him twice over.
"Time. Yes. I know but is that all? You had more than time. You didn't say your happiness came from time. It came from them acting for you. I... am so far from where I was. I don't think time can give it back to me on its own. Time only destroys, wears away. It doesn't create without help." He yawned, didn't bother to cover his mouth. He still needed to see Much but all he wanted to do was sleep.
"They won't... screw you over," Cas said. But he couldn't say they would never cause pain. "They will defend you. They would give their lives for you now," he said softly. "There is no need for paranoia. Any agenda will be uncovered and dealt with."
He didn't want to talk about sex but he needed to know about it since it kept coming up. He was grateful she didn't make a deal about it. "I should give someone else that power over me?" he looked doubtful. He didn't like to think about her using that against Sam. That had been a troubling time. Sex, like humanity so far, held little appeal to him.
He looked out the windshield as he answered her. "I would take any company at night," he said softly. "I stayed with Much, it was good. I would like to see Dean and Sam too. Juliet. Peter. But... I know they are busy at night. There isn't anyone else I think about at night. Only them." He didn't think about sex. He thought about words. He thought about comfort and certainty. Thought about death too. He thought about protecting them in that way but he didn't mention that. Sometimes, when the night was especially long, he thought of being protected.