"I have taken many steps so far," he said softly. "They have ended here. You... you thought to come. In that you prove your own point, about yourself." She had reached out to him and, though he still fought against trusting her, that held more weight with him that her words. He shook his head. "I don't think they are for nothing. They are... important to me. I know that I am important to them. I don't know why but... it is clear I am. I want to learn to be a better friend for them but... it's different. Sam and Dean... we have been through too much for it to be the same."
There was something else there he didn't have with his new friends. Disappointed expectations.
"No. That shouldn't matter. I will never ask for repayment. They are my friends. I want them to... be my friends. That is all. I would never want them to try and repay that. I couldn't wish the result of that on them and they have other things that are of first importance. I need them to be as they will. I will adjust to that as best I can." Which wasn't so well so far but he was willing to keep at it from both fear and desire.
"I don't think I am... doing it," he said. "I don't know how to enjoy what they enjoy. I don't... see the point of much of it. I like sensations, warmth, taste, but those are transient. I... like the island. There I can hold them longer but it's transient and so much chasing! How to humans have time for anything else?" It was an open and unguarded question. In that moment he spoke to her as equal.
... Even if her next assessment had him more guarded. "Sam has become someone I need to combat. He thinks I should walk away. He thinks he can walk away and find happiness as a human, while they fall. Dean... Dean seems to understand better. At least he hasn't tried to advise me to leave but... I am trying to teach myself how to be when he knows to be an effective human. Though it always seems to involve iniquity..." he added. "No matter who is trying to teach me."
Sex seemed intensely important to them and Cas still didn't know why but he had a suggestion. "Is that why Dean wanted me to know about sex? It has the power to... invite company? It seems very social here and people who will do it often have company at night. Sometimes they arrange trips to see it. Will it help me understand? Does it make the difference between... being alone and getting it?"