As it happened, he had a very good point. “No, he was always there, every step. But we’re gonna be there for you. It matters to us what happens you, and at some point you’re gonna believe that. But until then you’ll just have to deal with it, and its not like you haven’t made friends, or do you think that’s for nothing. Those people care about you, they’re invested in what happens you. Doesn’t that mean something?”
When he explained what he wanted from life though, she thought maybe, just maybe, she understood him a little better. He was different from other people and maybe that was the problem. People kept trying to tell him to go be human and enjoy it, he didn’t know how, he’d never known how.
And of course, the driving force in it all was what he’d given up and proof that it mattered.
“They’re glad you’re here. I think, honestly, they just don’t know how to react to you after what you’ve given up. And I don’t know how you do it. I really don’t. I couldn’t be human, the feelings, emotions. They come back all the way, and there’s a lot of guilt in there, hundreds of girls I’ve worn to nothing, more victims than I can count, dark magic, loyalty to pure evil. I feel it now, but not like I would, you know how it works. You have to be struggling even if you don’t have the guilt I do. But I can tell you now that you don’t stand alone, You have friends, you have a demon that won’t give up on trying to make you see that she cares, even if its probably in her best interests to quit while she’s ahead. And you do have Sam and Dean. I swear you do.”